![]() ![]() Not only did you fulfill the assignment, you also wrote a long-ish intro and answered questions that went beyond the prompt. I’m impressed with your ability to write concisely. Finally, it’s significant that you overlook Sen’s comments on comparing in the absence of an ideal standard. Don’t worry about giving away your main point upfront – in philosophy that’s a good thing. Also, as noted, your opening needs to be more clear. I encourage you to avail yourself of the writing center. I suspect that a lot of this has to do with the difficulties of writing in a second language. As noted throughout, the biggest weakness of the paper is the occasional lack of clarity. Your three points of criticism build very well on each other, and you end with a satisfying resolution. ![]() Importantly, you build in very plausible objections to your claims and then seek to respond to those objections. General feedback for a class From superior papers: In doing so, I try to impart to my students that their work, whatever its quality, is always a work in progress. You’ll notice in the examples below that my attempt is always to state concretely what’s working well and specific ways in which both this particular draft and also their writing more generally might be improved. Additionally, I compose a document with general feedback for the entire class based on positive and negative trends in the papers submitted. When grading student papers I make in-margin comments throughout and then articulate my overall feedback at the bottom. In order to see my efforts at work, I’ve copied below actual feedback that I’ve given-two on papers I considered “A” quality, one on a paper that I considered well below average, and additional, general feedback given to an entire class after grading their papers. One of the real challenges then, is to offer feedback for students at very different levels. The attempt is to allow the student, wherever they are in their progression as a writer, to improve, and especially to improve in their ability to narrow in on and articulate a well-supported argument. This has remained with me, and to the degree possible within the specific constraints of each class, I make revision, feedback, personal interaction, and the opportunity to rewrite central to class assignments. Overall, I experienced a genuine aporia and ultimately took advantage of the opportunity to re-write my paper. Following a period of self-indulgent mourning I forced myself to read through Faulconer’s comments and realized that he had undermined the possibility of consoling myself by blaming him. The combination of what I thought an abysmally low grade and margins drenched in the red of electronic comments felt as though academic open season had been declared on me personally. More specifically, it was the feedback on my first paper. Many students elect to sign up for a few hours of private coaching at a deeply discounted rate in order to perfect drafts, work on college lists, or to work on supplemental essays.As an undergraduate, my first writing assignment in Jim Faulconer’s philosophy of religion course changed me.Homework includes outlining and drafting. Each 2 hour class includes some tips and advice along with time to work on specific activities and assignments.First, we will get to know you when you submit your list of extracurriculars, college list, SAT/ACT scores, grades and interests.This is an online, live class conducted via Zoom Discounted private essay coaching and editing rates for all participants.Tips on supplemental essays and the COVID-19 essay.First-pass editing of a rough draft in group sessions.Daily homework assignments and draft review.Tips on how to write about yourself without bragging.Advice and examples of do's and dont's for admissions essays.In this five-day online workshop, we will roll up our sleeves to help you produce your standout essay! You will leave the workshop with a unique and effective college essay that presents you in your best light! ![]() This highly interactive program provides guidance and advice along with ample time to learn about powerful essays, brainstorm topics, outline and draft, and benefit from peer and expert review. Use the lazy days of summer to write your best college admissions essay.
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